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Excerpt from: LIONS and TIGERS and TEENS:
Expert advice and support for the conscientious parent just like you
(Unlimited Publishing LLC)

© Myrna Beth Haskell

 

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Chapter 7: The Locked Door

It happens. Somewhere between the ages of 12 and 13 your kid starts locking his door. I remember approaching my son’s room a few years back, laundry piled past my nose, when I couldn’t turn the door knob and burst in like I always had in the past. I stared at the knob for a minute, and then looked back down the hall to make sure I was in the right place. 

“Hello?” I called. 

Whaaaat?”

“Why is your door locked?” I asked in disbelief.

“What do you want?” he called back, seemingly exasperated.

I was in shock. What do I want? I’m the mother. I have fifteen pounds of laundry that I’m about to drop, and I can’t open one of the doors in my house! I was about to rant and rave, when my son opened the door with the standard I-can’t-believe-you’re-bothering-me look on his face.

This was the beginning of a new phase in parenting, one where I was no longer privy to all of his comings and goings, every issue with his friends, or the reasons for his lousy mood at the end of the day. It was an adjustment, for sure.

We have since compromised. He no longer locks the door, but I knock first and introduce myself, “This is your mother. Remember me? I need to speak with you for a minute.”

Why the Locked Door?

At some point, your teen will want more privacy. She might start locking her door. I know I did. I didn’t want anyone bursting in to see my impersonation of Jennifer Beals in Flashdance. It might also be a diary, text messages they don’t want you to see, or phone calls muffled under their pillow.  In any case, it will happen. When it does, you need to decide where you’ll draw the line when it comes to privacy.

 




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